Pieces of The Preterist Puzzle Protrude Profusely

(i.e. Some Things Just Don't Fit!)

(Mark Smith,  11/95 & 6/00)

 

There is a faction in Christianity (what a surprise) that has taken a new tact towards trying to explain away the false prophecies in the New Testament concerning the second coming of Jesus. Rather than saying that these prophecies are not saying what they obviously are saying (the standard Christian cop-out), this group freely admits that, yes, Jesus promised to return within one generation of 33 AD. Their catch is that Jesus did indeed come back, in 70 AD, but the reason nobody saw him is because he was invisible. Sort of like the other night when I had Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis over for dinner, and nobody saw them, because they were invisible too. 

 

Of course, like all Christian groups, this group has already subdivided into several warring camps. Two of the several divisions are known as Full Preterists, and Partial Preterists. I will deal with both of these groups in this short essay. What I intend to show is that their explanation goes against their own Bible, as well as common sense. Obviously, I can’t PROVE an invisible Jesus DIDN’T come back in 70 AD, but neither can they prove an invisible unicorn is not standing behind you the reader at this very moment. 

 

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Greatest Woe  in History?

For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.  (Matthew 24: 21)

 

Jesus predicted that at his second coming, there would be disasters such as never before seen, nor ever to be matched. This being the case, the Preterists have a hard time fitting this part of Jesus’ prophecy into  the era of 70 AD. As everyone (except the Preterists) seems to know, no such catastrophes affected the entire world at that time. Of course, if they were INVISIBLE catastrophes, that would explain it! 

 

Nothing happened in 70 AD that even came close to the raw body count of Noah’s Flood, where it is claimed that the loving Biblegod murdered the entire population of Earth, save eight. This being the case, how come no one but modern Preterists seem to have noticed that the entire population of our planet (save maybe one or two) got wiped out in 70 AD??? It sure would be nice if they would come up with some evidence to back up this claim. Of course, the evidence could be invisible…

 

Jesus also predicted that his tribulation would forever hold the world’s record for blood & guts. This is another claim that seems hard (and distasteful!) to swallow, seeing how at most about a million Jews tragically died in 70 AD, as opposed to 6 million during World War Two, not to mention the twenty million Russians starved to death by Stalin, or the three million Cambodians murdered by Pol Pot. As gory as 70 AD was, it was by no means the greatest woe in human history. 

 

Of Concern to Gentiles 1,000 Miles Away?

On the other hand, as some Preterists claim, this “tribulation” was meant to be an event restricted to Israel concerning the Jews and their religion, centered around the environs of Jerusalem itself, why on earth would Paul trouble the poor Gentiles living a thousand miles away in Corinth??? Why would Paul give them many warnings to be ready, aware, awake, and avoid marriage in light of the second coming of Jesus???  In reality, a nuclear bomb could have obliterated the entire Middle East, and it would have had little if any impact whatsoever on the people in Rome or Greece. This is another piece of the Preterist puzzle that they fail to explain.  

 

Invisible Signs are Not Signs!

The Preterists pull an old Jehovah’s Witness trick, applying it to 70 AD, in that they claim that all sorts of signs DID take place, but that they were INVISIBLE signs!!! They claim things happened in a make-believe temple in their make-believe heaven by their make-believe gods. The real miracle in this stunt is that their followers believe them!!! There’s a sucker born (again) every minute, eh? But listen and study what Jesus says- it seems that signs by their very nature are visible.

 

And then shall ¹appear the ²sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall ³all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall  ⁴see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great ⁵glory.   (Mt 24:30)

1) APPEAR:

(Strong’s #5316)

1) to bring forth into the light, cause to shine, shed light

2) shine

   2a) to shine, be bright or resplendent

   2b) to become evident, to be brought forth into the light,

       come to view, appear

       2b1) of growing vegetation, to come to light

       2b2) to appear, be seen

       2b3) exposed to view

   2c) to meet the eyes, strike the sight, become clear or manifest

       2c1) to be seen, appear

   2d) to appear to the mind, seem to one's judgment or opinion (NOTE: This is the last and therefore, the least likely definition)

It is obvious that which sheds light, shines, is resplendent, becomes evident, appears, is seen, is exposed to view, strikes the sight (all the primary meanings) is visible. An invisible rabbit pulled out of a hat is none of these things.

 

 

2) SIGN:

(Strong's #4592)

1) a sign, mark, token

   1a) that by which a person or a thing is distinguished from

       others and is known

   1b) a sign, prodigy, portent, i.e. an unusual occurrence,

       transcending the common course of nature

       1b1) of signs portending remarkable events soon to happen

       1b2) of miracles and wonders by which God authenticates the men

            sent by him, or by which men prove that the cause they are

            pleading is God's

A “sign” is a credential or proof. An "invisible sign" is almost a contradiction in terms. For a sign to have ANY

value at all, it must be visible. An invisible sign that proves anything actually proves nothing.

 

3) ALL:

(Strong’s #3956)

AV - all 748, all things 170, every 117, all men 41, whosoever 31,

     everyone 28, whole 12, all manner of 11, every man 11,

     no + 3756 9, every thing 7, any 7, whatsoever 6,

     whosoever + 3739 + 302 3, always + 1223 3, daily + 2250 2,

     any thing 2, no + 3361 2, not tr 7, misc 26; 1243

1) individually

   1a) each, every, any, all, the whole, everyone, all things,

      everything

2) collectively

   2a) some of all types

ALL of the people on Earth are promised to witness this event, not just the rabble rousers living in Israel. This did not happen in 70 AD.

 

4) SEE:

 

(Strong’s #3700)

 optanomai {op-tan'-om-ahee} or optomai {op-tom-ahee}

a (middle voice) prolonged form of the primary (middle voice)

   optomai {op'-tom-ahee}, which is used for it in certain

   tenses, and both as alternate of 3708; TDNT - 5:315,706; v

AV - see 37, appear 17, look 2, show (one's) self 1, being seen 1; 58

1) to look at, behold

2) to allow one's self to be seen, to appear 

For them to "see"  Jesus “appear”  he must be visible.

 

5) GLORY:

 (Strong’s #1391)

from the base of 1380; TDNT - 2:233,178; n f

AV - glory 145, glorious 10, honour 6, praise 4, dignity 2,

     worship 1; 168

1) opinion, judgment, view

2) opinion, estimate, whether good or bad concerning someone

   2a) in the NT always a good opinion concerning one, resulting

       in praise, honour, and glory

3) splendour, brightness

   3a) of the moon, sun, stars

   3b) magnificence, excellence, preeminence, dignity, grace

   3c) majesty

       3c1) a thing belonging to God

            3c1) the kingly majesty which belongs to Him as supreme

                 ruler, majesty in the sense of the absolute

                 perfection of the deity

       3c2) a thing belonging to Christ

            3c2a) the kingly majesty of the Messiah

            3c2b) the absolutely perfect inward or personal

                  excellency of Christ; the majesty

       3c3) of the angels

            3c3a) as apparent in their exterior brightness

4) a most glorious condition, most exalted state

   4a) of that condition with God the Father in heaven to which

       Christ was raised after He had achieved his work on earth

   4b) the glorious condition of blessedness into which is

       appointed and promised that true Christians shall enter

       after their Saviour's return from heaven

For "glory" to be SEEN by all the tribes of the earth, it should be very bright, thus easily visible. Note the references to things astronomically bright and readily apparent. This does not fit in at all with Preterist theory.

 

 

 

 

The SIGN of Jesus, whatever it was, would appear visibly in the sky, to been SEEN by ALL men on earth, resulting in their becoming depressed. Then, ALL the men of planet earth, just as they had visibly SEEN the "sign" will now visibly SEE  an EXTREMELY bright and visible and well-advertised Jesus descending down from among the clouds. Something this bright and visible couldn't  hide if it wanted to.  Note all the various words that even in their definitions, use terms of absolute visibility:  

apparent, splendour, brightness sun, stars, see, appear, show, be seen, exterior brightness, light, shine, shed light, resplendent, come to view, to meet the eyes, strike the sight, become clear.

There is no way something  that is described thusly could have been done in secret in front of the entire world. The return of Jesus herein described was not some invisible, Jehovah-Witness  type  pie-in-the-sky.  It was predicted to be the most visible world-wide event in history. This ties in very well with other terminology used by Jesus, such as the lightning analogy (Mt 24:27) that is VERY visible from one end of the sky to the other, to which he compares his coming. With lightning-like visibility, trumpets blaring, apparitions floating around visibly in the sky-- this does NOT seem to be describing the Preterist theory of an invisible, secret ceremony taking place in a galaxy, far far away.

 

 

 

 

Every N.T. Usage Of The Word "SIGN" Indicates Visibility

Mt 12:38             Then certain of the scribes and of the Pharisees answered, saying, Master, we would see a sign from thee.

Mt 12:39             But he answered and said unto them, An evil and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given to it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas ((a visible sign))

Mt 16:1   The Pharisees also with the Sadducees came, and tempting desired him that he would shew them a sign  ((a visible sign)) from heaven.

Mt 16:4   A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign  ((a visible sign)); and there shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas. And he left them, and departed.

Mt 24:3   And as he sat upon the mount of Olives, the disciples came unto him privately, saying, Tell us, when shall these things be? and what [shall be] the sign ((the visible sign)) of thy coming, and of the end of the world?

Mt 24:30             And then shall appear the sign  ((a visible sign))of the Son of man in heaven ((where the clouds are, i.e. the sky)): and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.

Mt 26:48             Now he that betrayed him gave them a sign ((a visible sign)), saying, Whomsoever I shall kiss  ((a visible kiss)), that same is he: hold him fast.

Mr 8:11   And the Pharisees came forth, and began to question with him, seeking of him a sign  ((a visible sign)) from heaven, tempting him.

Mr 8:12   And he sighed deeply in his spirit, and saith, Why doth this generation seek after a sign ((a visible sign))? verily I say unto you, There shall no sign be given unto this generation.

Mr 13:4   Tell us, when shall these things be? and what [shall be] the sign ((a visible sign)) when all these things shall be fulfilled?

Mr 14:44             And he that betrayed him had given them a token, saying, Whomsoever I shall kiss ((a visible sign)), that same is he; take him, and lead [him] away safely.

Lu 2:12    And this [shall be] a sign ((a visible sign)) unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

Lu 2:34    And Simeon blessed them, and said unto Mary his mother, Behold, this [child] is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a sign ((a visible sign)) which shall be spoken against;

Lu 11:16 And others, tempting [him], sought of him a sign ((a visible sign)) from heaven.

Lu 11:29 And when the people were gathered thick together, he began to say, This is an evil generation: they seek a sign; and there shall no sign be given it, but the sign of Jonas ((a visible sign)) the prophet.

Lu 11:30 For as Jonas was a sign ((a visible sign)) unto the Ninevites, so shall also the Son of man be to this generation.

Lu 21:7    And they asked him, saying, Master, but when shall these things be? and what sign ((what visible sign)) [will there be] when these things shall come to pass?

Lu 23:8    And when Herod saw Jesus, he was exceeding glad: for he was desirous to see him of a long [season], because he had heard many things of him; and he hoped to have seen some miracle done by him.

Joh 2:18 Then answered the Jews and said unto him, What sign shewest thou unto us ((i.e. a visible sign)), seeing that thou doest these things?

Joh 4:54 This [is] again the second miracle [that] Jesus did, when he was come out of Judaea into Galilee.

Joh 6:14 Then those men, when they had seen the miracle ((i.e. a visible sign)) that Jesus did, said, This is of a truth that prophet that should come into the world.

Joh 6:30 They said therefore unto him, What sign shewest thou then, that we may see, and believe thee? what dost thou work?

Joh 10:41            And many resorted unto him, and said, John did no miracle: but all things that John spake of this man were true.

Joh 12:18            For this cause the people also met him, for that they heard that he had done this miracle.

Joh 13:24            Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, that he should ask who it should be of whom he spake.

Ac 4:16    Saying, What shall we do to these men? for that indeed a notable miracle hath been done by them [is] manifest ((i.e. a visible sign))to all them that dwell in Jerusalem; and we cannot deny [it].

Ac 4:22    For the man was above forty years old, on whom this miracle of healing was shewed ((a visible sign)).

Ac 12:17 But he, beckoning unto them with the hand to hold their peace, declared unto them how the Lord had brought him out of the prison. And he said, Go shew ((a visible sign)) these things unto James, and to the brethren. And he departed, and went into another place.

Ac 13:16 Then Paul stood up, and beckoning with [his] hand said, Men of Israel, and ye that fear God, give audience.

Ac 28:11 And after three months we departed in a ship of Alexandria, which had wintered in the isle, whose sign ((a visible sign))was Castor and Pollux.

Ro 4:11   And he received the sign of circumcision ((a visible sign)), a seal of the righteousness of the faith which [he had yet] being uncircumcised: that he might be the father of all them that believe, though they be not circumcised; that righteousness might be imputed unto them also:

1Co 1:22 For the Jews require a sign ((a visible sign)), and the Greeks seek after wisdom:

1Co 11:10            For this cause ought the woman to have power on [her] head ((a visible sign)) because of the angels.

1Co 14:22            Wherefore tongues are for a sign ((a visible sign)), not to them that believe, but to them that believe not: but prophesying [serveth] not for them that believe not, but for them which believe.

2Th 3:17 The salutation of Paul with mine own hand, which is the token ((a visible sign)) in every epistle: so I write.

Re 12:1   And there appeared ((a visible sign)) a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars:

Re 12:3   And there appeared ((a visible sign)) another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads.

Re 15:1   And I saw ((a visible sign)) another sign in heaven, great and marvelous, seven angels having the seven last plagues; for in them is filled up the wrath of God.

 

 

 

Retreat Into Figurative Language!

For the last few thousand years, reality has been slowly but surely beating more and more of Christianity into the corner of "Figurative Language". This pretzling of scripture, the figurazation of difficult passages into harmless fluff, started way back at the beginning. The early church father known as Origen  excused Bible bullshit thusly:

A spiritual truth often exists embodied in a corporeal falsehood (#1, Page 42) 

And to demonstrate that, it is described how he neutralized one such problem verse, the one in Matthew  4:8, where the evil Satan brings Jesus to a very tall mountain, and from the top of this mountain, all the kingdoms of the world are visible. This might work on a flat earth with clean air, but is physically impossible on a round earth with dirty air.  We read  Origen trying to explain away the problem:

It is not to be understood literally that Satan showed to Jesus all the kingdoms of the earth from a mountain, because this is impossible to the bodily eye...(it was merely) a vision. (#1, p. 43)

The general  Christian practice is when a verse turns out to be total bullshit, do not admit the obvious-- that the verse is in ERROR  (the Christian brain starts to short circuit at the very thought!), rather, merely make up your own word definitions and thus redirect the interpretation of said verse. It is nothing more than playing word games. It is very similar to the general who, when ordered never to retreat,  rather ordered a full charge-- to the rear!!!  This Christian double-speak, shades of Orwell’s 1984, and President Clinton’s “is-is” fiasco, might go something like this…

"Oh, you thought I said I was going to hit you? I wasn't going to physically hit you, I was merely going to take my spiritual boot and shove it up your spiritual..."  

as you might guess, this wouldn't work in THE REAL WORLD. Real people would end up punching you out, because real people don’t put up with such bullshit. But Christians do. They’ve grown numb to being lied to.

 

This “spiritualization” of embarrassing verses is exemplified by the Flat Earth “debate”. Several verses in the Bible clearly teach a flat earth, so based upon that, the medieval church also taught a flat earth. But each time in history that the Bible has gone up against science, science has eventually won out, and another chunk of the Bible evolves from literal to “spiritual” interpretation. 

 

Another example of doctrinal evolution can be found in the Mormon religion. Any student of Mormonism can see, in a compressed time frame, this evolutionary process going on-- the same process that Christianity has been drifting through for 2,000 years. As more evidence comes to light that Mormonism doesn't have any evidence…

 "well, golly gee, it's not that all those things were FALSE (Kaibob forbid!), but that we were wrong for taking them literally!!! Why, they were meant to be taken SPIRITUALLY!"  

And thus Mormons have defused the ticking bomb of reality which had threatened the church, they have built this "deflector shield" against any future "bombs" that may yet be discovered. "Joe Smith a liar? So what!  Joe Smith a false prophet? So what! Those things were never meant to be taken literally." 

 

The Preterist View seems to be more of the same. Christianity has tired of having "egg on it's face" the past 2,000 years, due to the no-show of it's star, so now it's time to realize that, golly gee, all those second-coming verses that most people had thought were LITERAL actually turn out to be "spiritual", and must not be taken at face value. It's not that the little lord Jesus screwed up in his "prophecies", but the READERS of those prophecies, the "victim", it is he that screwed up. Blame it on the victim, in order to leave the offending false prophet off-the-hook. The Preterist View is traveling down the exact same road that has been so often traveled by Christians. IF the little lord Jesus' prophecies were actually true to start with, as history has marched on, more and more of the prophecies would have been fulfilled in an obvious way, and by now the world should have been saying, "Of course Jesus was a true prophet! Any idiot knows that!" Instead, people like the Preterists are out there with magnifying glasses, looking under rocks in the hopes of finding something to salvage from the false prophecies of the little lord Jesus. Good luck.

 

Saving The Savior

The Preterist theory is nothing more than a SALVAGE OPERATION, attempting to save Jesus from the consequences of his own false prophecies. They are off hunting in the land of "spiritual fulfillments" for an invisible Jesus visible only to the "spiritual" eye- whatever the hell that is. It does not have the ring of truth, only the ring of trying to cover up blown prophecies. It is exactly the same thing the Jehovah Witnesses did after their 1914 debacle. "Yes, Jesus came- just as we predicted! But he came in a SPIRITUAL way, that's why you can't see him." Of course, the return of Jesus became invisible only AFTER, never BEFORE, the time limits are blown. How convenient. 

 

Real truth, as time marches on, gets confirmed more and more. New evidences come to light, more loose pieces of the puzzle fit in. For example, look at the theory that the earth orbits the sun. There has now accumulated so much additional evidence to back up this theory, that those that doubt it are now considered crack pots. Contrast this to the Second Coming prophecies of Jesus. As time has marched on, Jesus looks worse and worse. Preterism is merely the a ditch effort, a spiritual equivealent to the Ptolemaic geo-centric system, getting ever more complicated, ever more complex, in a failed attempt to explain away and/or obfuscate bogus Biblical prophecies.  “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when at first we practice to deceive.”

 

Temple's Been Destroyed Several Times Already!

The temple that Solomon built, said to be the finest building on earth at the time, was destroyed in 586 BC by the Babylonians. The second temple, built by the returning exiles later in the 6th century did not survive in whole either. The temple in which Jesus taught (temple #3) was the result of a complete remodeling and enlarging by Herod the Great between 20 and 4 BC. The fact is, temples come and temples go. In fact, temples don't even count, if you believe what Jesus said to the woman at the well in John 4: 19-24

The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet. Our fathers worshipped in this mountain; and ye say, that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father. Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship: for salvation is of the Jews. But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. God [is] a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship [him] in spirit and in truth.

The Preterist view is that the end of the temple was an event of worldwide proportions,  fulfilling all sorts of prophecies in the New Testament. But these prophecies of the destruction of the temple also foretell of universal doom, cosmic catastrophes, i.e. world-wide events. Nothing like that happened in 70 AD when the temple was destroyed. The sun still shone on the children playing in Athens, and the vast majority of mankind was totally unaware of what was happening in Jerusalem that day. The end of the temple was by no means the earthshaking catastrophe the Preterists claim. The temple was obsolete anyway, according to Jesus himself, so what’s the big deal? The Preterist view of the temple’s destruction doesn't fit the reality.

 

Partial Preteristism = Bunk

The Partial Preterists believe that Matthew 24 was fulfilled during the first century, but that 2^nd Thessalonians was meant for later. The problem this runs into is revealed by simple  algebra, you know, that stuff you thought you'd never have a use for! As you'll recall, 

IF     A=B     AND     B=C     THEN        A=C

I believe it was called the Distributive Law.  Well, as close as mere words allow, when it comes to prophecies, 

 

	IF
Matthew 24	=	1st Thessalonians
	AND
1st Thessalonians	=	2nd Thessalonians
	THEN
Matthew 24	=	2nd Thessalonians

 

I intend to show that this is the case.  The Prophecy of Matthew 24 = The Prophecy of 2 Thessalonians. What is the big deal about that, you may ask. Thanks for asking. The "big deal" is that it totally disproves the Preterist position. You see, the prophecies in the letters to Thessalonica require fulfillment within the first century, before 71 AD to be precise, as the temple is assumed to be still standing within the era that these prophecies are due to take place, as well as the more obtuse fact that Paul expected fulfillment within the lifetimes of the Thessalonians.  And what is the problem with that? The problem is that The Resurrection, and Judgment Day are also due to take place within this same time frame, the era of the temple.  This would place The Resurrection and Judgment Day within the first century-- things that we know for sure did NOT happen. The end result? The Partial Preterist position, though giving it a good try, nevertheless fails to rescue the little lord Jesus from his false prophecies. Jesus still remains a false prophet to those that honestly consider the evidence, as he clearly predicted things which did not happen within the time frame he himself laid down.

 

What follows is a chart that compares these three sections of prophecy. Paul usually doesn't parallel any of the gospel stories, so to see how closely his two letters  follow the script here is quite surprising. I wonder if I am the first to have noticed this? It is also another bit of evidence that this was the common teaching of the early church. I believe that, when laid side-by-side, it will become obvious to the casual observer that these three sections of prophecy are all referring to the same event. The Partial Preterists are wrong in believing these are not all referring to the same event, one event for the 1^st Century, the other for thousands of years in the future. And that "event" includes the following:

¨      Destruction of Jerusalem and the temple.

¨      The visible return of Jesus to earth.

¨      The so-called "rapture" of the saints.

¨      The Judgment of all evil men before the throne of God.

¨      The general resurrection from the dead of all mankind.

Needless to say, the FACT that you the reader are sitting around reading this sentence right now proves that the end did NOT come when it was predicted to come. And please don't bother criticizing me if I forgot to dot an "i" or cross a "t" in this brief but broad synopsis of Christian end-time myths. Christians themselves can't straighten out their own mess regarding the final scenario-- so don't expect us poor Atheists to do any better.