Pranks
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This will be a place to collect actual & potential pranks that have, can, or should be played on Churches and Christians. Anything that helps take the wind out of their pompous sails benefits the rest of mankind. For example, I've always said the best way to counter Mormon door-to-door evangelism is to educate the populace about the magic long underwear that all Mormon missionaries wear under their white shirt and dark pants, so that whenever a Joe Sixpack opens the door and sees two Mormon missionaries, he can't listen to them because he stop laughing because all he's seeing in his mind are two adults running around in magic underwear trying to act all serious.

 

 So feel free to send your ideas or experiences in. If you're not comfortable with your name and email address being attached to what gets posted here, let me know. Let's make this site on Pranks grow, and increase the amusement of mankind.

 


 

Fun With Poop & Christian Science Reading Rooms


 
I had passed by the Christian Science Reading Room many times in Ypsilanti but had never gone in. So I suggested that we go inside and scope it out to see what opportunities for mischief it might present. We took a cover to "Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex" with us. An old woman, in her seventies (gray hair, glasses, a dowdy old bluish gray dress that came down the her ankles) sat alone behind a desk, directly to one's right as one entered the door. To the rear of the room was a closed doorway, about four of my steps away. We spoke to the old woman and asked if we could go into the reading room. She told us yes, so we did and shut the door. Once inside (and we had your cassette recorder going) we looked at some volumes and decided to place the cover over one of their religious books.

As we left, somewhat disappointed at what little mischief we had perpetrated, I grabbed a booklet from the outside literature rack. We took it back to the apartment where my friend went into the bathroom alone and defecated onto it. He placed it in a plastic bag and we drove back to the reading room. He took the booklet out of the bag and sat it back on the rack. The old woman could see us, but not what we were doing. I smiled and waved and she smiled and waved. The booklet was wide open, shit showing. We then went back to his car, about half a block away, and sat inside waiting to see if anything happened. A few minutes later an old man in dark unremarkable clothing, walking a black Labrador, came along. The dog's nose immediately went for the shit on the booklet, jerking the old man to his left, our right. He popped his head into the Christian Science reading room door and then jerked his dog away and continued to walk in our direction.

The old woman walked out, looked at the literature rack, looked angry and disgusted, and picked up the poopy booklet and went inside. The old man with the labby walked past us, and we were laughing. My friend started the car and off we drove. I don't think we had the recorder going during this part, which is too bad because it was way better than putting a sex cover onto a religious book.   ---MM & MS  early 1980's
 

 


 

Telephones & The Dimwitted Church of Christ

 

As we were bring escorted out of a C of C by the "deacons" I grabbed a leaflet that explained about the C of C and had a list of the names of all eight of the elders. The very next Sunday I took that leaflet and called the C of C. Someone answered the phone and I asked, starting at the top of the list of eight elders, 

"Is elder so-and-so there?"

"Yes" was the reply, so I said

"Please bring him to the phone THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!" 

"Okay!" the person nearly shouted and dropped the phone. Less than a minute later, elder so-and-so was at the phone.

"Yes? May I help you?" he asked.

I moved my finger down to the second elder on the list and asked "Is elder so-and-so there?"

"Yes, yes he is." came the reply.

"Bring him to the phone, PLEASE! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!"

"All right!"

Off he went, and soon the second elder was on the phone and I did the same to HIM. I went thru ALL EIGHT HALF WITTTED ELDERS THAT WAY! ALL EIGHT! RIDICULOUS! When the eighth and last elder came to the phone I said,

"Is this elder so-and-so?"

"Yes it is!" he breathlessly replied.

Completely confounded by the bovine stupidity of these eight men, I simply hung up.

---MM, early 1980's

 

 

 


Pornographic Profanity Blaring During Church Service 

 

Recently, I read about a Santa Fe, NM. cathedral’s Ash Wednesday mass being disrupted, mid-way by loudly blaring sexually explicit profanity coming from CD players surreptiously hidden under the pews. Horrified parishioners evacuated and in came the over-reactive police sent in the bomb squad. Hilarity. By far, it is the coolest idea of the week. Why don’t more people do this?

“The CD players, duct-taped to the bottoms of the pews, were set to turn on in the middle of noon Mass on Wednesday at the Roman Catholic Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi.”

“The recordings, made on store-bought blank discs, featured people using foul language and “pornographic messages,” Johnson said. He would not elaborate because of the ongoing investigation.”

“Church staff members took the CD players to the basement and called police, who sent the bomb squad, Johnson said.”
“The bomb squad blew up two players outside and kept the third one to test for fingerprints or DNA and trace its components, he said.”

The fact that police feel the need to detonate everything is a bit absurd and considering the cost of doing this, really questionable. Those assholes just can’t take a joke, I guess.
    

---Feb  2007  at  Ash Wednesday services at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi   http://davebgimp.com/tag/prank 

 

 

 

 


 
Contact Information for Mark Smith

Set Free!
Orange County, CA

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