Give To Him That Asks

-or-

How To Get Free Stuff From Christians

by Mark Smith

Directions For Use

Next time a Christian friend pesters you, and invites you to his church, take him up on it. When you get there, hang around the lobby after the service for the coffee and donuts- and a little fishing. Engage your Christian friend in a conversation- the more in the group, the better. In front of all his Christian friends, in the course of your conversation, work in the material and questions found below. Be sure to get him to answer “Yes” to all the questions in front of his friends. Let him swallow the hook good and deep before you jerk the line to imbed the hook. Once he’s swallowed the hook, then spring on him what Jesus commanded him to do (see LARGE text at the bottom). He’s got two options:

Option #1) He disobeys Jesus.

Option #2) He obeys Jesus.

Option #1) He Disobeys Jesus

If he starts to make excuses, starts in with the old "that's out of context!!!" routine, starts to tell you what Jesus "really" meant here, in short- if he does ANYthing other than instantly hand over whatever you asked for, you now have positive proof that he’s not a real Christian, and therefore from then on you don’t have to listen to a word he says about Jesus or God or church. You have forever silenced him about ever bothering you again about Jesus. You can even blame his hypocrisy for turning you forever away from Jesus. You can say to him,

Since you yourself don’t obey Jesus, why the hell should I??? In the words of your own New Testament, Romans 2:21, “You who teach another, do you not teach yourself? You who preach that one should not steal, do you steal?” Don’t you EVER tell me again to obey Jesus, when you yourself don’t even obey Jesus.

He ends up losing face in front of his friends, AND he’s never going to bother you again about going to his church! Of course, when the other Christians in the group see the trap that you’ve sprung, they’ll probably try to slink away unnoticed, hoping that you don’t “put their faith to the test” next. The really funny part is, if you were to ask any of these Christians if they’d give their lives to obey Jesus, they’d all shout yes. But when it comes to giving $20 to prove they obey Jesus, they all of a sudden renounce the faith (by their actions) and look for excuses NOT to obey Jesus. Their mentality goes something like “Yeah, we’ll give our lives, but twenty dollars? Come on now!” Don’t ask me to explain it, I’m just reporting it.

Option #2) He Obeys Jesus

If he decides to actually obey his god, even when it costs him some money, you’ve hit the jackpot!!! For once, even us Atheists can PRAISE JESUS!!! Ask him to write you a check for $1,000, or give you some cash then and there. Maybe if he has a nice car, ask for his keys and make an appointment for both of you to meet at the DMV the next day to legally transfer ownership. Anything and everything- whatever you need or want- it’s open season, and all thanks to Jesus. Of course, the poor Christians are probably thinking “Thanks a lot Jesus, you and your big mouth. It’s soooo easy to be generous with other people’s money when you’re the Son of God, isn’t it???” Of course, they can’t say any of this out loud, for their Bible says “the Lord loves a cheerful giver” (2^nd Cor. 9:7). So while inside they are cursing their gods, on the outside will be a happy face as they hand over all their money to you. Oh, the joys of religion!!! Praise Jesus!

Things To Work Into The Conversation

The Bible says if you love Jesus, you will obey Jesus.

If you love Me, you will obey my commandments (1)

John 14:15, Today’s English Version

The Bible also says that the real test of your love for God’s family is how well you obey Jesus’ commands.

The test of the genuineness of our love for God’s family lies in this question-- do we obey His commands? (2)

1st John 5:2, Phillips Version

Questions To Be Answered
Do you *love* Jesus?	( )Yes ( )No
Do you love Jesus enough to obey Jesus?	( )Yes ( )No
Would you *obey* Jesus *regardless* of the cost, no matter *WHAT* he commanded you to do?	( )Yes ( )No
Would you *obey* Jesus’ commands regardless of the cost, even if it cost you your car and all the money in your bank account?	( )Yes ( )No
If Jesus came down in the flesh, right here and now, and *commanded* you to *prove* your love for him by giving away your car and all your money, *would you obey him?*	( )Yes ( )No

Jerking The Line to Hook The Fish

well, it just so happens that Jesus commanded you, in Matthew 5:42

“When someone asks you for something, give it to him.” Matthew 5:42 Today’s English Version

I am a someone, just like Jesus said, and I'm going to ask you for something, just like jesus also said. Keep in mind that where you spend eternity may rest on how well you obey Jesus in giving this someone what he asks for.

Time for The Christian To...

Put Up or SHUT UP

Now go ahead and ask him for twenty dollars, or maybe his car keys, or maybe even to cut you a check emptying out his bank account- don't be shy! You’ll see right then and there how seriously he takes his own religion. You'll either get a lot richer today, or shut this Christian up for ever.. Whichever it goes, it's a "win-win" situation for you.

Those who live by the Book

Will Go Broke By The Book

Happy Hunting!!!

Here is a shorter version- might be easier for printing:

$ Free Money $
via
Matthew 5:42

"For God so loved the world..." that he left us Atheists a BLANK CHECK in the New Testament (Matthew 5:42) that real Christians HAVE to cash!!!
Test how "real" your Christian friends are- hit 'em up for cash in the name of Jesus! Hallelujah!!!

The Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, omnipotent ruler of the universe,
commands demands and orders his followers in Matthew 5:42 to:

Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. (Mt. 5:42, King James Version)
Give to him who keeps on begging from you, and do not turn away from him who would borrow from you. (Mt 5:42, Amplified Bible)
Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you. (Mt. 5:42, New American Standard Bible)

Let's see now... your Christian friends teach others to obey Jesus regardless of the cost, but when it costs them a few bucks, will they obey, or will they weasel out with their hair-splitting mind-numbing quibbles? Test and find out! And if they bug out, remember to keep this as your final parting shot of the conversation:
Since YOU won't obey Jesus, why the hell should I ?

Note to Atheists, Agnostics, and Freethinkers: If you don't memorize any other Bible verse, memorize this one!!! Matthew 5:42 Burn it into your memory, practice reciting it. Be able to pop it out of your mouth on a moments notice. This is the quickest way to shut down ANY street preacher, religious relative, or nagging Fundy neighbor or co-worker. Matthew 5:42 LEARN IT! Memorize it!!!!

Compliments of Set Free!

Set Free! Orange County, CA

Email: JCnot4me@aol.com

Web: www.jcnot4me.com